Monday, April 16, 2018


Missionary work is amazing I am a product of it and will be forever thankful for the path it has lead me on.  My husband chose not to serve a mission, we married in the Vegas temple during the time he would have been serving a mission and almost 26 years later I am thankful for the life I have and feel greatly blessed. My children are my all and are the blessings that have come from the choices we made in the temple all those years ago. We are not a perfect family by any means and sometimes we get so held up in the culture of things that we forget these young men and women take on such a life changing choice that we may not hear what they really are feeling or they try not let us know until it is too late and they can’t buoy themselves up to it. 

D&C: 124:49 Verily, verily, I say unto you, that when I give a commandment to any of the sons of men to do a work unto my name, and those sons of men go with all their might and with all they have to perform that work, and cease not their diligence, and their enemies come upon them and hinder them from performing that work, behold, it behooveth me to require that work no more at the hands of those sons of men, but to accept of their offerings.

This scripture couldn’t have come in a more appropriate time and has given me comfort in knowing my boys have served “with all their might and with all they have”. Two days or two years they have faithfully and honorably served a mission. 

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Special needs envy??

Is there such a thing as special needs envy? I see myself sometimes looking at other special kiddos and how they are able to do things that my son cannot & feeling a little jealous. Weird to think that we can have a jealousy amongst our special kiddos, right? It is true though. I remember years ago I was sitting in a lesson in church and the instructor was talking about how she had wished her daughter who struggled with mental illness had Down syndrome. The comparison she used was not the best, but the idea of what she said struck me so odd. I had two little boys at that point and I could only think that what she said was so not fair to anyone struggling with a kid who had any difficulties. Fast forward today and I can totally see where she was coming from. How nice it would be to have our son feed himself(teenage boy would like to eat all day long right now), feeding him takes a minimum of 30 minutes at a time. To be able to tell us with his own words what the heck is bothering him, that would be amazing. I could go on and on about the “only if he could’s”, but with that jealousy I know we would not have the amazing things that he has taught us because of what he is. So yes, jealousy happens amongst the special needs parenting life for sure. In the past 16 years of raising Mr. B we have heard it all, “you have been given this child because you are strong” “He only gives you what you can handle”, “I don’t know how you guys do what you do, you are amazing” you get the idea. People really do mean the best when they say these things. Most of the time it would be good to hear “how do you do it?” & I am so thankful when someone says “you guys have it hard, but you make it look easy” because that is the goal. We know we have it hard, no denying it, but when we hear from someone who sees that we are trying and let’s us know we are appearing to make it look like that then thank you!! I am thankfully jealous of what we have and couldn’t do it without the amazing guy  that I have by my side to help make it through each day. 

Thursday, January 4, 2018

Traveling the world with our family, well here's our reality folks

We love to go on vacations to many places as a family, but reality is that we cant go everywhere, it is just too complicated.
We recently were able to finally get Braydon on a plane ride. This was the scenario. We flew to go to Disneyland. Most may know this, but in case you don't Braydon has a problem with laughter. It causes him to get upset and start to kick and want to be out of earshot of the laughter. Very hard thing to have such a hard time with since it is such a normal thing for us all to do. So think of being stuck in a plane with someone who has laughed and to Braydon he will wait and anticipate the next laugh so much that he will freak out and want away from that person immediately.(This has been the hardest thing to work with on him and it still is a work in progress) Also Braydon is too big to sit in a car seat on the plane(at least his seat his too large to fit in a airline seat) so Justin had to sit next to him and have an arm around him the entire flight, constantly pulling him up as he would slide down in the seat. He did this for the entire 2 1/2 flight, Justin is amazing, but gosh that stinks because I don't think we could do it any longer than that. Renting a car isn't easy either one that will accommodate his large car seat and wheelchair plus our entire family?? Hotel rooms. He usually requires a his own bed and I found these really cool portable bed rails that keep him from rolling off the bed: Find them here  Then there is bathing him. We use a roll in shower with a special shower seat at home, which is not easily transportable. So trying to bathe super strong 5 foot tall kid is never easy. I say all this but want you to realize that Braydon has seen and done more things in his life than a lot of kids his age, let alone with his disability. We somehow make it work. We have too, we have other members of our family too and need to be there for everyone of them. So traveling with our family is doable not easily but can somehow be done.
We all(7 of us) went to Disneyland in October and Braydon has grown so much that he is able to sit in an airline seat with his feet touching the floor, so he basically sat all alone support wise. Also our check-in gate attendant suggested we take the first row, leg room a plenty no one in front of him to kick their seat. It was amazing!!! This is a total game changer for us. Just need to figure out some of the other items mentioned that would make it a little easier for us when we travel.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Our last few months

The last few months we have had A LOT going on. We had family visiting so with that.....

Jake finished his second year of college so we headed out to celebrate with lunch


Tony, Lindsay and their kiddos came for a much needed visit. We had lots of fun and visited many places, ate lots of food, laughed and even earned a few years back running after three little kiddos again:
a trip to Lollipop park


We had snow in May while they were visiting, nice change for them and certainly made for a change in temps for all of us. We went to the Butterfly pavilion


Madisyn's last band concert of the school year

My mom was here to celebrate her 70th!!! Doesn't she look amazing!! Glad she was here so we could celebrate with her.  We all went out to  her favorite place to celebrate.

 Which was followed by Cayson graduating high school and 4 years of early morning seminary(church class he attended for four years and waking up at 5am everyday). I cannot believe how fast time has flown by. I have 3 children now that have graduated from high school. What??? Our house is getting so quiet and empty. This is so hard!!! 

We heard off to our yearly trip to Glenwood springs. So glad to have some extra family to come along this trip

 Just before grandma Diane left we made it to the Denver zoo. We had an awesome day of fun there. The weather was perfect. We had animal activity. Mostly had a good day together as a family. 

Braydon and I celebrated our birthday. Grandma Diane bought us an ice cream cake, we went to dinner with some of our favorite friends, had lunch with my sister in law and a few friends. 

We decided to get back into camping since not going in almost 8 years. So what's a better birthday present then a new camping trailer? 
This is going to be our much needed adventure's with Braydon. So much easier on him knowing where he will be sleeping and having some comforts of home. 


Cayson headed off to his last year of High Adventure Scout camp and Madisyn headed off to YW Camp. 


Excited to share our summer adventures and all the change that comes with the coming months!!


Saturday, April 22, 2017

I am honestly a good person but....

For quite sometime now I have been thinking about our life with a special needs kiddo or atleast one aspect of it.  There is a truly good reason that I enjoy my free time. I feel I have earned it  as should anyone, but what I really mean  I am not sure if everyone understands. You see Justin and I have been caring for someone for the last 22 years since the birth our first. I mean we have been caring for someone for 24/7 for the last 22 years. Braydon will be turning 15 this June and since his birth we have been doing everything for him. He isn't able to dress himself, feed himself(you get what I am saying, he needs us for EVERYTHING). As with that I don't think most people understand that when he is at school, I have time for ME. So with that I apologize that I am not one who openly says I would love to watch your kids, because frankly I can't it is so exhausting on us everyday, day in and day out, that when I am free for the day I want to truly be free. I use this time to do anything but think about being a special needs parent, let alone a parent in general, HA HA.  I love invitations from friends to go and do something(HINT!HINT!) because after those short 6-7 hours the routine starts over. This is not a plea for sympathy. I just want people to see it from my perspective. It is hard for me to not feel guilty about this too. I remember being a younger mom with kids in tow and have always been fortunate enough to be home with them. I understand every mom who has a baby along with a toddler or a mom who has young school aged children and little ones at home. I have been there and I have done that too and it is exhausting, BUT I am still caring for one who cant care for themselves. Just think of how exciting it is with each kid as they learn to dress themselves or feed themselves, when they learn to entertain themselves and finally when they are old enough to be at home by themselves? It is a wonderful time in every mom's life to have these things happen. It has happened to me 4 times now, but think about it I am still in the constant routine of  feeding, dressing, entertaining and being this person constantly there cause they cannot be alone. Need I also say that physically the demands are harder as the years go on for obvious reasons, he isn't getting any smaller. I know many of you see Braydon as part of our family because only the strong or righteous are blessed with someone who is such a special spirit like that, but that doesn't make the reality any easier folks. IT IS ONE THE HARDEST THINGS EVER!!!
I wrote about this because I needed to get it out there that even though the typed version of our life sounds rough, I know for a fact we wouldn't change a thing. We've made it work, we're making it work, After all aren't we all a work in progress??

Friday, April 7, 2017

Is it Really 2017??

I wanted to get back into blogging again for a couple reasons, first would be the most obvious to make a record(digital) of our family events, history, etc. and second to share some experiences, lessons, enlighten, and give an overall picture of how we exist and cope as a family with a special needs child.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Where have I been??? Time to catch up

I am going to try and catch up on my blog. I cant believe it has been 4 years since I have posted on this. So much to say and so many photos to add. I think it may be blog overload from me for a little bit while I catch up on this. Updates coming soon.