For quite sometime now I have been thinking about our life with a special needs kiddo or atleast one aspect of it. There is a truly good reason that I enjoy my free time. I feel I have earned it as should anyone, but what I really mean I am not sure if everyone understands. You see Justin and I have been caring for someone for the last 22 years since the birth our first. I mean we have been caring for someone for 24/7 for the last 22 years. Braydon will be turning 15 this June and since his birth we have been doing everything for him. He isn't able to dress himself, feed himself(you get what I am saying, he needs us for EVERYTHING). As with that I don't think most people understand that when he is at school, I have time for ME. So with that I apologize that I am not one who openly says I would love to watch your kids, because frankly I can't it is so exhausting on us everyday, day in and day out, that when I am free for the day I want to truly be free. I use this time to do anything but think about being a special needs parent, let alone a parent in general, HA HA. I love invitations from friends to go and do something(HINT!HINT!) because after those short 6-7 hours the routine starts over. This is not a plea for sympathy. I just want people to see it from my perspective. It is hard for me to not feel guilty about this too. I remember being a younger mom with kids in tow and have always been fortunate enough to be home with them. I understand every mom who has a baby along with a toddler or a mom who has young school aged children and little ones at home. I have been there and I have done that too and it is exhausting, BUT I am still caring for one who cant care for themselves. Just think of how exciting it is with each kid as they learn to dress themselves or feed themselves, when they learn to entertain themselves and finally when they are old enough to be at home by themselves? It is a wonderful time in every mom's life to have these things happen. It has happened to me 4 times now, but think about it I am still in the constant routine of feeding, dressing, entertaining and being this person constantly there cause they cannot be alone. Need I also say that physically the demands are harder as the years go on for obvious reasons, he isn't getting any smaller. I know many of you see Braydon as part of our family because only the strong or righteous are blessed with someone who is such a special spirit like that, but that doesn't make the reality any easier folks. IT IS ONE THE HARDEST THINGS EVER!!!
I wrote about this because I needed to get it out there that even though the typed version of our life sounds rough, I know for a fact we wouldn't change a thing. We've made it work, we're making it work, After all aren't we all a work in progress??
