I am honestly a good person but....

For quite sometime now I have been thinking about our life with a special needs kiddo or atleast one aspect of it.  There is a truly good reason that I enjoy my free time. I feel I have earned it  as should anyone, but what I really mean  I am not sure if everyone understands. You see Justin and I have been caring for someone for the last 22 years since the birth our first. I mean we have been caring for someone for 24/7 for the last 22 years. Braydon will be turning 15 this June and since his birth we have been doing everything for him. He isn't able to dress himself, feed himself(you get what I am saying, he needs us for EVERYTHING). As with that I don't think most people understand that when he is at school, I have time for ME. So with that I apologize that I am not one who openly says I would love to watch your kids, because frankly I can't it is so exhausting on us everyday, day in and day out, that when I am free for the day I want to truly be free. I use this time to do anything but think about being a special needs parent, let alone a parent in general, HA HA.  I love invitations from friends to go and do something(HINT!HINT!) because after those short 6-7 hours the routine starts over. This is not a plea for sympathy. I just want people to see it from my perspective. It is hard for me to not feel guilty about this too. I remember being a younger mom with kids in tow and have always been fortunate enough to be home with them. I understand every mom who has a baby along with a toddler or a mom who has young school aged children and little ones at home. I have been there and I have done that too and it is exhausting, BUT I am still caring for one who cant care for themselves. Just think of how exciting it is with each kid as they learn to dress themselves or feed themselves, when they learn to entertain themselves and finally when they are old enough to be at home by themselves? It is a wonderful time in every mom's life to have these things happen. It has happened to me 4 times now, but think about it I am still in the constant routine of  feeding, dressing, entertaining and being this person constantly there cause they cannot be alone. Need I also say that physically the demands are harder as the years go on for obvious reasons, he isn't getting any smaller. I know many of you see Braydon as part of our family because only the strong or righteous are blessed with someone who is such a special spirit like that, but that doesn't make the reality any easier folks. IT IS ONE THE HARDEST THINGS EVER!!!

I wrote about this because I needed to get it out there that even though the typed version of our life sounds rough, I know for a fact we wouldn't change a thing. We've made it work, we're making it work, After all aren't we all a work in progress??

Is it Really 2017??

I wanted to get back into blogging again for a couple reasons, first would be the most obvious to make a record(digital) of our family events, history, etc. and second to share some experiences, lessons, enlighten, and give an overall picture of how we exist and cope as a family with a special needs child.

Where have I been??? Time to catch up

I am going to try and catch up on my blog. I cant believe it has been 4 years since I have posted on this. So much to say and so many photos to add. I think it may be blog overload from me for a little bit while I catch up on this. Updates coming soon.

November 2010

The month started out with Madisyn having a crazy hair day at school. She is the first of my kids to really want to participate in spirit/dress up days at school. The boys never seemed to take in interest in it. So we made some twisty-twirly ponytails all over her hair.

Jacob turned 14 and enjoyed his first gluten-free cake. He is an amazing child. It is nice to know that he willing does everything(most the time days before it needs to be done) on his own, without having to be reminded. He earns all A's and doesn't even have to try too. He sits down everyday and reads his scriptures(can't say he learned that from me). He has already mapped out his next six to eight years. He knows where he wants to go to college and would love to be a writer or illustrator. Have I ever mentioned the stacks and stacks(Not joking) of notebooks that he has drawn and written stories in? He continues to amaze us with his knowledge and is such a blessing to our family.

I think our family dynamics are quite interesting and unique. We have our obvious stand outs for sure, but each one of us is so perfectly fit in our family. Not one of our personalities are the same. We often tease that so and so is our favorite child, but I know all of my children know that we love each of them the same and expect things from them on different levels that they are capable of achieving. Our kids struggle at times, because they know that Braydon requires a lot of our time and attention, but at the end of the day they all know we love them and how important they are in making our family a "FAMILY".

WE had a very quiet Thanksgiving this year. We celebrated with just the seven of us. Since I started working at BBW I knew I would be working on Black Friday, so for the first time in about seven years I didn't get up and go out with all the crazies to do some shopping of my own, but I really didn't miss it this year. I think I mostly missed the fun that I would have with either going out with my sister in law or my good friend Bridget.

More from October.....

This month also came with something I am experiencing for the first time......my very first child got his learner's permit!!! Yes Kaleb is officially driving us around at times. I can't believe it!!!(Not that he is old enough to drive, just that I am old enough to have a child that drives!!!) He is doing quite well. Justin has been taking him out to the school parking lot in the the snow to get some of that experience down.

He also attended his first Homecoming dance. He went with a group of friends. They first had a catered dinner at a friends house, took pictures, then went to the dance and then after a few dances they headed over to a friends house to play basketball, games and eat more of course.

I also took a picture of him and two of his friends at one of our trips to the Halloween store.

Madisyn went to the high school's Spirit clinic, which was taught by the Varsity Pom team. She of course loved it!! Lindsay and Isabel(a couple of Kaleb's friends) took good care of her. They all learned a routine and then performed it at halftime of one of the football games.

Halloween 2010

We enjoyed a snowless Halloween this year and had lots of fun activities. Madisyn and Braydon's school had a Halloween Carnival with a Trunk or Treat. We had our ward trunk or treat and then we had gone out on a chilly Halloween night for trick or treating(my mom was here to help/enjoy this) I only had two dress up for Halloween this year and I was feeling kind of sad. We also enjoyed our visits to the Halloween store not to far from our house at least twice a week for the whole month of October. Braydon enjoyed going there, every time we drove by it we had to promise him we would go and visit or he would keep kicking the back of our seats to let us know he wasn't going to give up on going. We entertained all who where in the store each visit. Sometimes it was just a walk through visit, but most of the time we had to try on the masks which made Braydon laugh (His contagious belly laugh), sometimes it was an occasional scare mom by walking up behind her wearing the Michael Myer's mask. (Now my kids and husband know if they want to really scare me all they have to do is wear that mask!) By the end of the Halloween season the props where no longer functioning, items were sparse, but Braydon still had to visit. We had an enjoyable Halloween this year!!

October

My mom came in town just before Halloween and we took Braydon and Madisyn to the North Pole in Colorado Springs. Maddie and Braydon had lots of fun. (I was worn out after lifting Braydon in and out of every ride). Madisyn did not want to get near the Santa, but Braydon would have stayed and visited him all day. (Ironically Maddie thinks he is the real Santa) It was a beautiful day to have been there.

We took the kids to Kanosha Pass/South Park to see the changing of the leaves. It was really beautiful(my pictures do not do it justice). We stopped in South Park and enjoyed lunch from a roadside caboose turned bbq. The food was fine, but the small town entertainment was better. I took a bunch of pictures of the kids in the trees and Braydon enjoyed falling over into the leaves while we would take his picture.